Hidden Places

this girl rocks! :)

thanks chief!

http://s303.photobucket.com/albums/nn152/chiefronpaul/?action=view&curre...

------------------------------------
memorable LLF characters:

devourerofsouls - Sat, 08/09/2008 - 18:07

Tell Uncle Satan how you'd like this handled.

I'm having a free special on "Being Boiled Alive"! Two days only.
______________________________

Get in line. No pushing. No shoving. All souls taken in the order in which they were received.

Thank you.

----------------------------------------

A WOMAN'S POEM

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
I turned around and smacked the shit out of him...
Like his mother used to do.

Bluemoon 6/8/08 on What's for Supper? thread

------------------

"No tattoos. I would rather buy silver with the cash"
E_goldstein 6/3/08 Liberty Forum Tattoo thread

------------------

"I'd save a little effort if I had superior troll recognition software..."
Professor 6/13/08 SGP thoughts thread

------------------

"lol! topless for liberty... no. no. no. i didn't say that... not good for rp AT ALL!!"
See-thru 5/30/008 on Liberty Ladies thread

-----------------

In response to kat's "I thought they hated us because we're free?",

"If we were free I might agree with you."
chiefronpaul 6/9/08 on US presence blamed for Iraq woes thread

-----------------

On June 4th, 2008 Hannah2(from DP) says:
The old man and the Marine

One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue , where he'd been sitting on a park bench.
He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and
meet with President Hillary Clinton."
The Marine replied, "Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here."
The old man said, "Okay," and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary
Clinton".
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is
Not President and doesn't reside here."
The man thanked him and again walked away .

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very Same Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton."
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and
said,
"Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to
Mrs. Clinton. I've told you already several times that Mrs. Clinton is not
The President and doesn't reside here. Don't you understand?"
The old man answered, "Oh, I understand you fine. I just love hearing your
Answer!"
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow

submitted by see-thru 6/4/08 on hillary joke thread

-------------------

Alright..I am adapting another joke to yours.(see above)
The next week, the same guy goes to the same place, and asks the same thing. New guard there says,"Hillary is not President and is not in the White house". Next day the guy comes back and says he would like to meet with Hillary. The guard says "Sir I have told you and TOLD you, Hillery is not President and not here". The next day the guy comes back and says he would like to meet with Hillery. The guard finally loses it. "Sir I have told you over and over that Hillary is not President!. Look..spell cat like in catastrophe". The guy says "C-A-T". Then the guard says, "Now spell dog, like in dogmatic." The guy says "D-O-G". Then the guard says, Now spell fuck, like in President Hillary". The guy says "There's no fuck in President Hillary". The guard says "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!"

submitted by Crickett 6/5/08 on hillary joke thread

-----------------

"Hello everyone! Ive come from the DP bring happiness and joy!...or at least some discussion..." (ed. note- anyone who has been to DP lately can appreciate the sarcasm here! LOL)

brightdRRkness 6/2/08 on Welcome new users thread

-----------------

"I'm gonna hafta score some malt vinegar and give it a go. Even if it fails as a palliative it will still perform as a condiment."

Professor 6/14/08 on What's for Supper? thread

----------------

Tenderly Waiting Silently

There is a fine line between lovers and friends

If you hear me whisper I love you
Please be deaf to those words

If you feel me quiver beneath your touch
Please be numb

If you should see a tear fall
Look away my friend look away

If there is a frown on my face please know
You did not put it there
It comes from my own inner despair

If I should weep in my sleep
Leave me alone for
My dreams are all I have to keep

If my mind should wander my inner thoughts I ponder

My true feelings I fight to keep inside
For I know it’s the only way to be by your side

If I should smile please know
My inner turmoil has subsided but
Only for a little while

For I know it will never end
The hurt will be back again

Where does it begin where does it end

HOPEFULLY FOREVER FRIENDS

Peggy

Written and submitted by Bluemoon 6/15/08 thread N/A

-------------------

REFLECTION…

An evening to remember you and me
Our first dinner
Starting over feeling like a beginner
Here we are taking chances
Exchanging subtle glances
Atmosphere seems so right here at night

Soft rain, City lights
No need to feel uptight
Where are we headed
No one Knows

I thank you for the Rose

Peggy

Written and submitted by Bluemoon 6/15/08 thread N/A

---------------------

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with
his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'

'Where are you going, Coochy Coo?' asked the wife.

'I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face,' he answered. I'm going to have a beer.'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?' She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland ,
Japan , India , etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, Lollipop ... but at the bar... You know ...
they have frozen glasses... '

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, 'You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?' She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen
that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't
be long. I'll be! right back. I promise. OK?'

'You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.

'But my sweet honey... at the bar. you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'

'You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?

LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN,
SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR
FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES
BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR!
THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?'

and....they lived happily ever after.
Isn't that a sweet story? --

Submitted by Devon Saunders 6/16/08 on What's for Supper? thread

-----------------------------

Oft times when I am doing a sweat, it is considered honorable to accept gifts. Not money... things from the heart. This is what I got today, wonderful calligraphy on birch bark. She explained that the poem was not hers, but she read it and thought of me. I believe the poet is Tracy K Smith.

The Eagle dreams light,
Dreams molten heat, dreams words

Like bark, fir and great mountains
Appear under the shadows of great trees.

The Eagle dreams fox, and that amber shape
Appears in a glade. Dreams egg,

And the fox is cradling
A fragile world between sharp teeth.

All gods do this.
Flesh is the first literature.

There is Pan Gu. Dog-god.
His only verb: to grow.

And when he dies, history happens.
His body becomes World:

Blood, eye, tendon, teeth
Become river, moon, path, ore.

Marrow becomes jade. Sperm, pearl.
The vermin of his body: you and me.

Elsewhere and at the same time,
Some sentient scrap of first flame,

Of being ablaze, rages on,
Hissing air, coughing still more air,

Sighing rough sighs around the ideas
Of man, woman, snake, fruit.

We all know the story
Of that god. Written in smoke.

And set down atop other stories
(How many others? Countless others.)

There is the element of Earth to consider:
Fast globe driven by the children of gods.

Driven blind, driven with fatigue, fear,
With night sweats and hoarse laughter.

Driven forward, stalled, dragged back.
Driven mad, because the ones

Who drive it are not gods themselves.

This girl is attempting to become an Adult in her tribe... we have high hopes for her... ;)

Submitted by Devon Saunders 6/21/08 directly to this thread

--------------------------------------

There once was a man from Cheaney
Who spilt some gin on his weenie
Lacking in couth
He added vermouth
And slipped his wife a martini

Submitted by kat 6/21/08 directly to this thread.

--------------------------------------

I would like to submit a song I wrote over ten years ago now entitled "Silent Halls".

Silent halls, no footstep falls,
in what used to be a crowded room.
There's no laughter, just tears there after,
it all seemed to disappear too soon.

Father, mother, son and daughter,
sitting 'round the table as they pray.
A frozen picture, its gone forever,
lost to another time another day.

Tell me where did time go?
It seems to haunt the soul.
When will we understand,
we've built our lives on shifting sand?

Parents work, while children look,
for the kind of life that they should lead.
And when their lost, we count the cost,
of allowing the world to plant its seed.

Tell me where did time go?
It seems to haunt the soul.
When will we understand,
we've built our lives on shifting sand?

We cry out, "What happened here?"
but we find there's no one left to hear.
We've struck the match, lit the fuse,
we failed to notice what we had to lose.

Tell me where did time go?
It seems to haunt the soul.
When will we understand,
we've built our lives on shifting sand?

Written and submitted by Khomar 6/21/08 directly to this thread

--------------------------------

This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Pittsburgh, he asked her, "What did you steal?"

She replied, "A can of peaches."

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6. The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail then."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, "What is it?"

The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."

"True Love" : )

Submitted by Bluemoon 6/21/08 directly to this thread

--------------------------------------------

IRS ID badge

A cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water.
His horse has already died of thirst.

He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last
breath - when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand
several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the
sand, and discovers what looks to be an old brief case He opens it and out
pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie.

She is wearing an IRS ID badge and a dull gray dress. There's a calculator
in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.

"Well, cowboy," says the genie, "you know how I work. You have three
wishes."
"I'm not falling for this", said the cowboy. "I'm not going to trust an
IRS genie."
She smiled and said, "What do you have to lose? You've got no
transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!"

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is
right. He said, "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and
drink."

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen.
And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
The genie said, "OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish."

"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams."

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare
gold coins and precious gems.

The genie said, "OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make
it a good one!"

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says... "I wish that no
matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me."

***POOF***

He turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's
going to be a string attached.

Submitted by Bluemoon 6/21/08 directly to this thread

----------------------------------

Diary of a Kat

DAY 70 -- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 71 -- Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed.

DAY 72 -- Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 73 -- Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Hmmm not working according to plan!

DAY 74 -- I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 75 -- There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to their fear of my "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 76 -- I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

Submitted by kat 6/21/08 directly to this thread

-------------------------------------------

krmaya2 - Fri, 06/20/2008 - 20:02

Hey Kat that's the best way to do it then people can absorb it at their own pace. do you hide the porn for the special ones?

kat - Fri, 06/20/2008 - 20:07

I keep my naked pictures of John McCain and Nancy Pelosi for those who need extra convincing that we are in deep shit.

Devon_Saunders - Fri, 06/20/2008 - 20:09

Thanks for that kat.

When you blow beer outa your nose it hurts...

And to top it off I have to go look for some kinda brain soap.

~twitch~

exchange submitted by see-thru 6/22/08. original thread unknown

-----------------------------------------------

"What fun is sex if it means nothing?"

"Sex is not nearly as pleasureable as love."

Wise words from our young friend, BrightdRRkness 6/23/2008 "Chat" thread

------------------------------------------------

"I see such acts of ugly barbarism then cast my eyes up to the mountains and see the vast beauty. So much to see just on that side of the mountain. There is so much life, so much wonder, so much to explore. It just makes it seem like all the other stuff is just so trivial."

More thoughtful words from our young friend, BrightdRRkness 6/24/08 on "Its never been so real" thread

---------------------

"Liberty and freedom starts in ourselves and in our homes."

See-thru 6/28/08 on Chat thread

---------------------

A reply by our good Professor Bernardo de la Paz to spy satellites, 7/4/08

Look up.
Smile.
Offer the one finger fertility blessing.

---------------------------------------

e goldstein 7/14/08 on "Why I am a truther critic" thread

(In response to Devon talking about getting a glow-in-the-dark cat)

"do you have to shake it...like a glowstick?"

---------------------------------------

Bluemoon and Thomas 7/18/08 on "Why I am a truther critic" thread

Bluemoon (regarding gathering up 9/11 "bullcrap"...): "you can use it to heat with this winter. Question? I wonder how hot it burns... lol"

Thomas: "Or maybe start your very own demolition company and use it to bring down some steel framed outdated highrises..."

---------------------------------------

Whispered Kisses

Whispered Kisses from the dark when i sleep alone
Sweet lips on my cheeks and still i miss you so
Left alone so far apart the oceans sing our song
Ill kiss the wind and send it off and hope it finds its home
Whispered kisses reach my ears i shudder, swoon, and moan
Tears reach my eyes and line my cheeks and still i miss you so
I close my eyes and dream ahead When im all alone
And to my ears it comes again singing to my soul
Whispered kisses from her lips off the sea they roll
A corus sung in sweet content from her lips its told
I kiss the wind and blow again across the sea it flows
with a smile i sit and wait knowing where it goes.

-----------------------------------------

e_goldstein - Tue, 10/21/2008 - 21:30 Speaks for itself

http://nedmartin.org/amused/blonde-geometry

----------------------------------------

Thomas (not verified) - Sun, 10/19/2008 - 20:25 Five surgeons from five big cities are discussing who makes the best patient to
operate on:

The first surgeon from New York says; 'I like to see Accountants on my
operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is
numbered.'

The second, from Chicago responds; 'Yeah, but you should try
Electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.'

The third surgeon,from Dallas , says; 'No, I really think Librarians are
the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.'

The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: 'You know,
I like Construction workers...those guys always understand when you have
a few parts left over.'

But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC , shut them all up when he
observed:
'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on.
There's no guts, no heart, no brains and no spine,
and the head and the ass are interchangeable.'

--------------------------------------------

Devon_Saunders - Wed, 06/25/2008 - 16:56 For Kat... ;)

A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT

They were together in the House..

Just the two of them.

It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly

and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.

She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance...and

wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her

from the storm.

Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... She screamed...

He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.

He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.

He knew this was a forbidden union and

expected her to pull back.

He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.

The storm raged on...

They knew it was wrong...

Their families would never understand... So consumed were

they in their FEAR that they heard no opening

of doors...just the faint click of a camera......

Explicit Camera Shot Here

http://libertylove.org/image0022.jpg

---------------------------------------------

Devon_Saunders - Wed, 06/25/2008 - 15:37 An email sent to me.. thought I would share.. ;)

Subject: Do You Have A Dog?

I have 4 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
> >
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
> >
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my ass and a car hit me.
> >
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door..
> >
Stupid lady...why else would I buy dog food??

-----------------------------------------------

Hobbit - Wed, 06/25/2008 - 05:27 IT’S ALL FOR MY SECURITY (A satirical poem) ~G.Edward Griffin

It’s more than mortal man can bear.
Those terrorists are everywhere:
on land and sea and in the air.
Network TV bill of fare
daily warns us to prepare
for bugs and bombs and poison air
and other things enough to scare
the bravest man to deep despair.

They hate our freedom so we’re told,
our way of life so uncontrolled,
our rich, our poor, our young, our old.
I guess their hatred just takes hold
and burrows in and makes them bold
enough to kill and spend their gold
and set in motion plans untold
to get us ALL, … or so we’re told.

Seems strange to me they don’t resent
the other guys who represent
a way of life with free consent
or those who are benevolent.
The only ones they seem intent
to devastate to great extent
are those whos aero-planes were sent
to bomb their homes with such torment.

Never mind, the war will stay.
We’re going to fight this all the way.
But there’s a price we have to pay
to keep the enemy at bay.
Let our leaders take away
our lives and liberty today,
and then our fears will go away
that they’ll be lost some future day.

My phone is tapped. My mail is read.
They know the thoughts inside my head.
The money I deposited
is now reported to the Fed.
They chip my hand, dispense my bread.
I think they watch me go to bed.
I don’t object. I’m glad instead
to be controlled until I’m dead.
CHORUS
And so I very happily
let them take my liberty.
No matter what they do to me,
it’s all for my security.
(You see, you see, you see?)
I’m just as glad as I can be
to let them take my liberty.
No matter what they do to me,
it’s all for my security

----------------------------------
THE BEST CAT VIDEO YOU'LL EVER SEE

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Wvo-g_JvURI

-------------------------------------

krmaya2 - Fri, 06/20/2008 - 20:02

Hey Kat that's the best way to do it then people can absorb it at their own pace. do you hide the porn for the special ones?

kat - Fri, 06/20/2008 - 20:07

I keep my naked pictures of John McCain and Nancy Pelosi for those who need extra convincing that we are in deep shit.

Devon_Saunders - Fri, 06/20/2008 - 20:09

Thanks for that kat.

When you blow beer outa your nose it hurts...

And to top it off I have to go look for some kinda brain soap.

~twitch~

---------------------------------------------------

Khomar - Sat, 06/21/2008 - 18:01 I would like to submit a song I wrote over ten years ago now entitled "Silent Halls".

Silent halls, no footstep falls,
in what used to be a crowded room.
There's no laughter, just tears there after,
it all seemed to disappear too soon.

Father, mother, son and daughter,
sitting 'round the table as they pray.
A frozen picture, its gone forever,
lost to another time another day.

Tell me where did time go?
It seems to haunt the soul.
When will we understand,
we've built our lives on shifting sand?

Parents work, while children look,
for the kind of life that they should lead.
And when their lost, we count the cost,
of allowing the world to plant its seed.

Tell me where did time go?
It seems to haunt the soul.
When will we understand,
we've built our lives on shifting sand?

We cry out, "What happened here?"
but we find there's no one left to hear.
We've struck the match, lit the fuse,
we failed to notice what we had to lose.

Tell me where did time go?
It seems to haunt the soul.
When will we understand,
we've built our lives on shifting sand?

-----------------------------------------------